Hot & Furious McDanno Slash
by BoyCalledHATE
Summary: The guilty pleasure Slash the CAST & crew of 5-0 won't TWEET to let you know they're reading it: "I was hooked from Ch 4!" "I laughed till I stopped!" "Spectacular AWARD-WINNING caliber fanfic!" 3 out of 17 fans agree: "I'm a homophobe but bar none, this is THE BEST McDanno I've ever read!" If you H8 McDanno but luv Danno this is a bucket list MUST! SMUT-FREE with funny PG13 nudity
1. Chapter 1

**_This takes place right after the Grovortega "carna-slash" (see my profile if you missed it):_**

* * *

McGarrett & Danno ride in awkward silence.

"You know, you should have let me kill one of them! You know how much that would have meant to me but NOOOO! You had to be the control freak and shoot them both!"

McGarrett gave him an icy cold stare:

"It had nothing to do with control, Danny, I just didn't want to see their faces during the shooting, that's all." His tone denoted incredible self-control but Danno was about to push him over the edge.

"RIIIIGHT! We believe you, you never-"

"WE!? Who is that we!? You got a mouse in your pocket... or something?!" McGarrett put the pedal to the metal, to aggravate his partner.

"A mouse in my p-!?" Danno interrupted himself, trying to control his rage and not hulk out. "Oh, that's funny, that's very funny! Let me tell you what you are, Steve, you're a piece of utter-" His eyes got distracted by McGarrett undoing his zipper.

"Whaa- What are you doing?"

Steve McGarrett took out his banana. He was angry and determined as he ignored his frenemy.

"What are you nuts!? Are you kidding me right now!?"

"Nuts? Funny you should say that..." McGarrett's eyes disengaged the road ahead long enough to size him up and smile at him, with both mischief and eager anticipation...


	2. Chapter 2

Without preambles, McGarrett forcefully shoved his banana deep into Danno's mouth - as he had opened it in protest - right after having peeled it half-way while driving with no hands.

Danno had no choice but take a bite before popping it out of his mouth.

"What's the matter with you, you cr- Hmmm, this is actually a good banana, crunchy..." McGarrett smiled right back at him.

"See? I know what you need!"

Danno continued to crunch Steve's banana with wild and unabashed abandonment, a goofy grin lingering on his face as he did so.

"You're a hypoglycemic, Danno. An undiagnosed hypoglycemic, but a hypoglycemic nevertheless!"

"Oh, so now you're a doctor too!? You wanna perform surgery on my-?"

"I'm not a doctor, Danno; I've just been your partner long enough to know when your blood sugar drops you become crabby and nag me like a wife!"

Danno noticed there was now a brown bag between McGarrett's legs out of which he pulled out his own banana, which he peeled and started to eat. Danno didn't bring it up but continued to eat, while eyeing his friend who himself feasted on his own banana, eyes closing half way with each bite.

"Oh, excuse me, I becom- Oh, look! There's crunchy stuff inside..!" The banana's hard core consisted of exotic nuts, and Danno had finally become fully aware of them. "What are those, cashews?"

"Yup!"

"Wait a minute... how did you get these nuts inside the banana, Steve?"

"They're MY nuts, Danno."

"Your nuts? What do you mean, "your nuts"?"


	3. Chapter 3

"Just that: they're my nuts. I have a farm in Molokai where I grow nuts."

"How did you get them INSIDE the banana? Don't tell me these are GMO!?"

"Genetically modified foods are the way of the future, Danny! I've been working with Max for over a year on this top secret project. We're pioneers in growing what basically amounts to a fruit within a fruit; we're first to create the BCS-21 banana."

"Oh, that's just great! Against my will, you're force-feeding me GMO!"

"Against your w-?"

"WHAT HAVE I TAUGHT YOU ABOUT GMO!?" Danno was fed up with his partner's antics. "Did you even bother to watch the Vimeo I sent you!?"

"I haven't had time for videos."

"You haven't had time-? Oh, that's just great! If you had bothered to watch 'Everything You HAVE TO KNOW About Dangerous Genetically Modified Foods' by Jeffrey M. Smith, you would have learned that Glycophoshphate was found to explode rat livers in the lab, Steve; did you know that!?"

"I don't use Round-Up Ready, Danno." McGarrett cast a fiery glance at him. A self-satisfied smile let his partner know he had the upper hand. But Danny Williams wasn't amused. Not this time. "Go on, finish it. I mean you might as well..."

"Fine! You know what? You're trying to kill me and I don't care! I'm gonna prove to you that you can't get to me!" Danno took another bite. "But you know what? I'll tell you something. This is nev- WHAT IN THE HELL!?"

McGarrett bust out laughing as a thick white substance shot down deep into Danno's throat and also dribbled out from the corner of his mouth. A look of utter disgust hijacked Danno's features.

"You should swallow that, it's good for you." His grin was devoid of malice. But Danno had taken out a tissue and had started hacking and spitting into it, in a violent cacophony of phlegmatic expulsions.

"What in the hell is THAT!?"

"It's the 'S' in 'BCS-21'". McGarrett had resumed laughing uncontrollably; goodness knew he had anticipated this moment for over a year now and this climax brought him the intense culminating pleasure he had fathomed and built up to, but the look on Danny's face sobered him up instantly. "Bananas, cashews and s-", he started to explain.

"I KNOW WHAT IT IS! You're a sick man, Steve McGarrett! You're mentally ill and you need to be committed!"

Suddenly, McGarrett realized that his partner had taken his loving gift as a personal affront.

"Look, it's protein, alright! No need to get excited, it's the perfect food for hypoglycemics."

"The perf-? ARE YOU KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW!? LOOK AT ME, STEVE. I SAID LOOK AT ME!"

"Hey, calm down, alright. The fat in the cashews mitigates the banana glucose and the semen adds just the right amount of protein to-"

McGarrett never finished his sentence. A raging mad Danny took out a dagger and sliced deep across his partner's face, nearly missing his right eye. The gashing, bleeding wound caused McGarrett to completely lose control of the car and crash into an oncoming Mack truck. Flames engulfed them both within seconds.


	4. Chapter 4

-"AAAAAAAAAAARRGHHH!"

McGarrett abruptly sat up, the darkness of his bedroom obliterating in a nanosecond the frightful images his subconscious had conjured up. He immediately felt his cheek, for he couldn't believe his impossible luck - that the nightmare was over. 2:17 stared back at him from his nightstand.

"OH, GEEZ! A banana? A freakin' banana with a GMO 'hard core' ... what in the hell!?" It was all coming back to him. "And I killed Grover and Ortega as if I was taking out the trash!? OW!" McGarrett's hand swiped his hair back, in disbelief. He wasn't in the habit of talking to himself but his heart was still racing and the words came pouring out.

"And Danno..!? What in the... HOMO-EROTIC... NONSENSE! I mean, DANNO? ARE YOU KIDDING ME!? DANNO!? WHAT THE F-!?"

"Yeah?"

The light had come on on the other side of the bed.

"Danno?"

"Yeah!?" The blond cop had sat up and was rubbing his eyes, unable to open them yet. McGarrett looked at him, incredulous. Danno yawned and stretched, then wearily looked at his partner. His grey striped pajamas were elegantly monogrammed "xXx" right on the chest pocket.

"You had the nightmare again?" McGarrett's mouth was in too much shock to respond. Danno looked up and casually tumbled his hands in a rolling motion as he enumerated: "The banana, cashews, fight and fiery car crash one?" He mimicked McGarrett's nod in acknowledgement, then gently rubbed his back . "Well, you're ok now," he smiled at him, "Come here and give me a kiss, you!"

Danno planted a gentle peck on his friend's lips then hugged him tight. Still in disbelief and in Danno's firm embrace, McGarrett scanned the room. It seemed part of him was unwilling to come back to reality, persisted in perusing the recesses of his own mind, as if piecing the nightmare together would help him to exorcise it once and for all.

Danno knew that routine only too well.

"Let me tell you something, Steve: you're no more a banana scientist than you're a cashew farmer or... ...or an oyster farmer for that matter! You understand me?", he smiled at him, the warmth in his topaz blue eyes enhanced by temporary fine lines. McGarrett was taken aback by his sincerity and compassion.

"Now, I don't know what it is that you put in your spaghetti, it's all these herbs that you sprinkle on it, they don't agree with you."

"Spaghetti?" McGarrett turned, as if remembering something, and noticed a bowl of half eaten spaghetti on his nightstand. He frowned, for he hadn't noticed that bowl earlier.

"That's right! That right there?", he paused as McGarrett turned back to face him, "No more!" Along with a quick whistle, Danno had swiped the air with both arms going in opposite directions, the international sign language for "finished". "OK?", he nodded at him and McGarrett's head obediently nodded back.

"Ok, that's a good boy! Oh, yesh it is, yesh it is!" Danno had switched to baby talk, as he once again comforted Steve with a hug. "Oh, what do we have here!? Look!" He looked down. "Looks like Mister Happy is out to play!", he grinned, then gently slapped his friend's cheek. "I'm going to take care of you, now."

"Danno?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Danno, I k... I... well, I killed Lou and Jerry and I... I..." Distraught beyond words, Steve McGarrett started crying, first softly, then uncontrollably in Danno's arms.

"Shh, shh, baby. S'alright, t's all alright, it was just a dream, ok? All a bad nightmare, that's all."

"I... I mean... I would, I would never... I never w... would, y' know?"

"I know, baby, I know. Don't cry anymore, ok?"

McGarrett broke hold first.

"The flames were so hot, Danno. And you were furious, you... you were so furious, and you slashed me, Danno; you slashed my cheek with some switchblade...", he whimpered, instinctively rubbing his face.

"Look at me, Steve. Steve, I said look at me." His friend obeyed his firm command. "It was a dagger, Steve. And it never happened, ok? You're ok now, and your face is ok. Ok? Now, don't go all "Birdcage" on me, ok Tsarina!?" In spite of Danno's smile, McGarrett frowned at him. "You know what baby needs? Baby needs his pacifier, ok? Oh, yesh you do, yesh-you-doo..."

In Danno's hand was now a black leather strap with a red rubber ball that he unceremoniously inserted in McGarrett's mouth and fastened behind his head. "There, baby! It's all gonna be better soon, I promise!"

McGarrett had no idea where that had come from. And why had he let Danno gag him like this? Without waiting for consent, Danno flipped him over, face against mattress down onto the bed, and pulled on the waistband of his pajamas.

"Well, well, look who's round, up and ready!" A slap bounced off his bare rear, and McGarrett found Danno's familiarity disconcerting and a bit humiliating, but he didn't protest; his conscious mind was busy trying to remember something, as Danno climbed over him to open his nightstand drawer. He foraged amidst the mess of half-used containers, took out a bottle that he vigorously shook before setting it next to the spaghetti, then ripped open a square foil wrapper with his teeth.

McGarrett suddenly remembered but Danno had climbed back behind him and had already handcuffed him, taking _"Book 'em, Danno"_ to a whole new level; all ready and fitted to turn the night into one hot and furious McDanno experience, he firmly grabbed McGarrett's legs, forcefully pulling them open towards him and then he...


	5. Chapter 5

"MMMPFFTTT! MMMPPGHFFTTT!"

McGarrett was trashing about, aborting Danno's momentum, who missed the entry point. He rolled his eyes.

"Aw, alright, alright! I'll get it!" He got up, still in full perpendicular salute, and went to his chest of drawers, turn on the CD player which rested atop, amidst a mess of junk mail, dust and other loose coins. Danno was not a fan of mp3 or other digital downloads. Good all fashioned CDs were his everything. He loved to collect them and had a passion for reading liner notes. He had quite an extensive 80's library, too.

McGarrett couldn't perform without relaxing and he couldn't bottom well without Wham! Danno selected Steve's favorite track, pressed " _play_ ". It was the live concert version. Clapping roared above the intro chords and the _"uh, huh, huh, ah, hah, hah, ta, da, da, dada..."_

Naked Danno got lost in the track. He closed his eyes and hummed as his knees started to yield to the music. His bedroom became his private stage and he danced and sang along with George and Andrew in front of his dresser. The water sprinkler was his wildcard move and McGarrett usually went wild for it.

 _"Girl, I just work for YOU!"_ He pointed at McGarrett, unaware of his friend's predicament, and spun around. " _WHOO!_ " Eyes, half closed, he danced all the way back to bed, climbed back in position.

"MMMPFFTTT! MMMPPGHFFTTT!"

Danno lost mister Stiff. Exasperated, he unfastened McGarrett's ball gag. His friend spat it out.

"WHAT!? What now?", he lashed at the super submissive SEAL.

"FOR GAWSSAKES, I AM NOT A BOTTOM!" This took Danno by surprise.

"The hell you aren't!", he retorted.

"Uncuff me, Danno. Uncuff me and submit to me!"

Danno couldn't fathom what had gotten into him.

"The hell I will!" Perplexed, Danno scratched his face, then his gonads, resting them on top of McGarrett's buttocks. "Look, mister control freak, I don't know what's gotten into you but there is one reason and one reason only why I let you drive my car. And that is: I am the master in the bedroom and you're my slave, understood?! This is my driver seat, capish?"

"I swear to God, if you don't uncuff me right this second-!"

"Alright, alright, alright!" Danno made a mean McConaughey impression. "I lost the key, Steve!"

"SONOFA-!"

"HAHAHA! Just messing with you bruh!" Danno playfully bit McGarrett's buttock. "Gawd, you turn me on when you're angry!", he stated, noticing mister Hard had returned.

* * *

 **NOTE: Danno is not fluent in Italian and doesn't know it's spelled "capisce". And quite frankly, in the heat of the moment, during the sexgument, he couldn't have cared less. Plus it's prettier ending in "-ish".**


	6. Chapter 6

_"And now you tell me that you're having my baï-bay,  
But girl: I don't even think that I loh-viyooooou!"_

Danno was singing a cappella before the next track came on, stringing lyrics randomly together to aggravate his partner. Once again, he smacked his bottom.

"DANNO!" McGarrett was barking mad.

Danno unfastened his cuffs and McGarrett instantly flipped him over and pinned him down on the bed, holding his wrists above his head, before the blond had the chance to react. The power shift caused double arousal. They stared each other down in silence, pupils dilated, desire raging within. The heady sax of "Careless Whisper" came on.

" _I feel so unsure_  
 _As I take your hand_  
 _And lead you to the..._ "

The music melted away as McGarrett leaned in for the kill. Eyes closed, his lips skimmed Danno's, his tongue eager to forage, when he heard him laugh, killing the mood. The laughter grew stronger. Another's had joined in.

"Max? ...Ca ...Catherine?" Then he abruptly remembered.

"I'M NOT GAAAAAA-"

"AAAAAARGHHH!" McGarrett had sat up in the darkness of his bedroom, his heart pounding against his throat. The laughter increased. He opened his eyes.

"I'M BLIND, I'M BLIND!", he cried out onto the night.

"Ok, I think that's enough,' decided Chin. Kono went to his aid.

"Don't move, Boss." She gently removed from his head the helmet contraption Max had fitted him with that covered his eyes. McGarrett opened his eyes again to see all his friends and colleagues standing there at the foot of his bed. Jerry held a rectangular metal device with buttons and a long antenna. It resembled a remote radio-control for drones. He turned it off and the red light died out.

"Pretty cool!", Jerry admitted.

"What... what in the hell is going on here!? ...And how did you all get in?!" McGarrett demanded answers.

Jerry bowed his head and cast a guilty look in Max's direction. Danno, who had previously excused himself, for he had broken up into a fit of non-stop laughter, joined the scene. Grinning, he crossed his arms, relishing the power play in his favor this time. His eyes met McGarrett's. Lingering lust turned to confusion, the hurt of betrayal soon taking over the SEAL's saddened baby blues.

"OH baby, don't look at him this way!", joked Lou Grover. Ok, it's his fault that you're having his baby, but girl..!"

The team collectively broke out in roaring laughter and McGarrett's shame increased. Had they peered inside his naughty dreams? How was it possible?

"You are probably wondering what we are all doing, standing here in your bedroom, Commander McGarrett," enunciated Max. The lieutenant looked at him sheepishly.

"Well, that's the understatement of the century," proclaimed Catherine, as she smacked Max's behind with the towel she had just fetched from her boyfriend's bathroom. "Here, Steve;" She flung the towel at him. "You might wanna...", she rolled her finger pointing down at McGarrett's crotch, "...towel that off!"

"OH, GEEZ!" McGarrett had looked down and noticed the mess he had made during his McDanno dreamscapade. Humiliated, he promptly toweled himself off, as all his friends laughed at him once again. He spread the towel across his lap, to cover his crotch.

"We have acquired the MCD317-469 from the CIA. This device from the 1950's was recently found in a storage warehouse," continued Max in his rhythmic lull. "When the CIA recently declassified the Roswell alien files, many of their Area 51 testing equipment remained in an abandoned lot. Jerry here received a tip from one of his online forum friends as to the location of the warehouse."

"I contacted your mom, who was kind enough to call the CIA for me, 'Tsarina'," quipped Danno. "Long story short, this dream inducer device soon came into our possession."

"We needed a guinea pig to test its functionality...", continued Chin.

"...And you were it!", added Kono.

"The dream within a dream was my idea," Jerry simply said.

"The homo-erotic theme was mine!" Grover winked at McGarrett who, just about now, wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.

"How did you like your sexcapade, bruh?" Kamekona's eyebrows enticingly raised themselves twice at him, then he reached into the bucket Flippa had found in the Commander's fridge, grabbed a cold drumstick and bit into it.


	7. Chapter 7

"Ok, you've had your fun and I'm clearly at a disadvantage here," capitulated McGarrett. "But what I wanna know is how were you able to SEE my... I mean... the dreams you all forced upon me."

"Oh, here, I'll show you," offered Jerry. "Chin?" Chin nodded and Kono fitted him with the dream control helmet. "Ok, let's give Chin some sushi ice-cream thoughts..." Jerry turned a couple knobs in opposite directions, typed a few words, fumbled with the antenna that he aimed towards the helmet, flicked a switch and then smiled. "Here we go!"

McGarrett looked at him as if he was an imbecile. Everyone else was smiling, which threw off the otherwise bright Navy SEAL.

"Commander McGarrett, if you would please turn around...", suggested Max.

Steve did as told. Projected onto the white wall above his bed were the images fed to Chin: a gigantic apricot ice-cream cone, atop which rested a slick piece of salmon sushi. The sushi melted deep into the ice-cream which now turned a bright pistachio green color with a piece of orange roe eggs sushi on top. Chin licked his lips and swallowed, indicating that the images were affecting his physiology.

"Whoa! That's amazing! That's truly unreal," admitted McGarrett, as Jerry turned it off and Kono helped Chin remove the headpiece. "I can't believe such a thing exists! I mean, do you know what we could do with this!?"

"Torture the enemy, force the truth out of them," offered Catherine. "I mean we can not only feed thoughts, we can also extract whatever thoughts the mind currently harbors."

"Total invasion of privacy!", quipped Jerry.

"And one day soon, all this will be admissible evidence in court," declared Grover.

"You can download my thoughts any time, bruh!" Kamekona wiped his hand on the cloth napkin he wore tied around his neck, then dug deep into the chicken bucket that Flippa was still holding and grabbed another drumstick.

"I bet they can make you lose weight with this!" Flippa's quip was met by Kamekona's frown.

"Look who's talking, Olive Oyl!", the gentle giant retorted with a mouthful of chicken leg while eyeing Flippa up and down.

"So wait! All you did was implant dreams onto my mind, right?"

McGarrett had addressed Max but his peripheral vision was scrutinizing Danno like a hawk. A smug smile, which he almost attempted to suppress, plastered itself on the blond's lips as he turned to look at the medical examiner who stood to his left. McGarett was disturbed by his superior demeanor. He wanted to blow up and get back at him, but he knew that had to wait for now. He also couldn't help but notice how power rendered Daniel Williams more attractive than usual. His animal magnetism was high way into the danger zone, to paraphrase the 80's song. If only Jersey boy hadn't brought all his friends along, McGarrett would show him who the boss was, and exactly what messing with the SEAL would spell out for him. But that would have to wait too.

At that very moment, McGarrrett was grateful for the towel that still concealed his crotch...


	8. Chapter 8

"Oh, don't worry Tsarina, your thoughts are safe; all we did was implant a couple dreams. However...", Grover playfully yanked the towel from McGarrett's lap, "...your modesty is not so safe no more!"

The Chicago cop pointed at his heavily stained crotch - which was evidently pointing right back at him - and everyone started laughing hysterically at him. McGarrett could have killed him; he flew in a rage seeing Catherine's head lean against Grover's chest as her body spastically shook with uncontrollable laughter. Grover wrapped his arms around her, himself still laughing his head off.

Without warning, McGarrett pounced on his feet, took the gun from Danno's holster, violently pushed him away so that the blond fell backwards and then aimed for Grover's head. Laughter yielded to panic and blood curling screams as a single gunshot exploded in the room and all the way inside Grover's skull. The imposing cop crumpled down onto the floor like a gigantic rag doll.

"He's dead!", pronounced Max.

McGarrett now aimed for Danno who, still lying on the floor, put his left palm up covering his face, as if to avert the impending bullet. Kamekona and Flippa moved in and positioned themselves so that they shielded Danno from the Commander. Danno took his gun out, aimed for McGarrett's forehead.

"The trouble with you, Steve, is you don't listen. You never listen," Danny said softly. He tapped McGarrett's thigh gently.

His partner's gun still in hand, McGarrett winced. He was experiencing double vision and was angry at Kamekona and Flippa for blocking his aim. Between their arms, he could see portions of Danny, still down on the floor. Was he pointing a gun at him? He could not tell for sure.

Holding a cast iron skillet, Catherine crept up behind her boyfriend, ready to whack him on the head. Danno grabbed one of the still damp tea bags.

"I warned you about this, Steve, but you had to be stubborn." Looking down on supine Steve, Danno patted his friend's knee.

Kamekona and his friend parted to make way for Danno who, much closer now, was still aiming his gun at McGarrett's head. A tense face off ensued. Through his peripheral vision, the Commander could see that Catherine was giving mouth-to-mouth to Grover's corpse, while Neo from The Matrix now leaned in to kiss Max, who was wearing an Easter Bunny costume. Before Steve could register the incongruencies, pain rang through his skull as Daniel Williams had just discharged his gun into his head. But his unrelenting hand kept tapping the SEAL's leg.

With a loud whimper, McGarrett's startled eyes finally opened themselves up. "Da... Danno?"

The New Jersey Detective was sitting on his bed, his left hand on McGarrett's leg through the covers, while a used tea bag dangled from his right index finger.

"What did I tell you, hmm?"

An incredulous McGarrett sat up groggily, looked at his friend, then let himself fall back onto the pillow with a moan. Both annoyed and relieved, he stared at his bedroom ceiling.

"What are you doing here, Danny?"

"Well, good morning to you too, sleepyhead!"

Then McGarrett remembered. He abruptly sat up, scanning his bedroom for the others. He turned to look at the wall above his headboard: his framed painting was still hanging there.

"You wouldn't answer the phone, so I let myself in; I hope you don't mind."

McGarrett turned back, looked at his nightstand and saw the bowl from a few dreams prior.

"Oh, no! Not the spaghetti!" Realizing he was still trapped in another bad dream, the SEAL wiped his face with his right palm in utter frustration. How was he ever going to wake himself up!?


	9. Chapter 9

"Spaghetti? What... what spaghetti?", inquired Danny.

"Ok. Don't start. I ain't falling for that again!" Resigned, McGarrett plunked back down onto his pillow. He shielded his eyes with the back of his forearm.

"Let me guess," smiled his friend, "...you just woke up from some funky dreams, didn't you?!" Danno tossed the tea bag back into the bowl on the nightstand where he had fished it off from. "You were whimpering when I woke you..."

"Aw, shut up, Danno! You think you're so smug but you're nothing!"

"I am nothing?"

"Damn right, you worthless twit! You ain't even here, you're just a damned figment of my imagination spawned from the darkest recesses of my subconscious, so screw you, asshole!"

Somehow his vehement tirade hadn't felt as good as McGarrett had hoped it would but, damn it, he was tired of Danny making a monkey's uncle out of him in his nightmares. And, above all, McGarrett wanted, no he NEEDED sleep. Peaceful, dream-free sleep to recharge his body and reboot his mind.

Danno let out a soft laugh. "Ok, I see what's going on here..."

This instantly panicked McGarrett who wasn't about to let his partner have the upper hand once more, nor go for round three or four... or whatever it was now, for he had lost count; he pushed the covers back, just so that *it* was concealed from Danny's view and checked his pajama bottoms: they were perfectly clean and dry.

"Punch me, Danno!"

"Heh, heh... what?"

Without warning, the SEAL pushed the covers all the way back startling Danno, whom he grabbed by his collar and pulled him up within inches from his face.

"I said punch me Danno. Sock it to me right on the jawbone, nice and clean!"

"I swear to God, if you don't let go of me right now, I will punch you so damn hard, not even Doris will recognize you at the morgue, Dragon-breath!"

McGarrett abruptly let go of Danno and exhaled loudly. Still sitting up in bed, he wiped and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms. He was sighing loudly. Danny recognized the after-effects only too well.

"What did I tell you, huh? Look at me, Steve. Steve, I said look at me!"

Reluctantly, the Commander obeyed. Once again, Danno was dangling the tea bag from his finger.

"Mugwort tea!"

"Damn right, the mugwort tea!", repeated Danno in a sarcastic tone.

"That damned mugwort tea you got from that psychic! That worthless tarot card reader..."

"That's right! The mugwort tea that induces fantastic lucid dreams. And what did I say to you, huh?!"

McGarrett looked confused.

"I told you: it's very strong, so only brew one cup and only drink half the first time! But noooo! You had to be stubborn and make a big bowl with not one but three teabags. THREE! Well, that's what you get when you don't listen to me!" Danno tossed the tea bag back into the bowl, where two other tea bags tagged "mugwort" rested. "What do you think you have, superpowers? You think being a navy SEAL bestowed you with supernatural strength and physiology, huh?"

"UGH!" McGarrett moaned in discomfort and held his temples as if trying to stay present.

Realizing McGarrett wasn't all there yet, Danno softened up his approach.

"You alright there, Steve?"

"UGH! Uh-huh, yeah!"

"Come here!" Danno got up, put his hands on his friend's shoulders and was gently leading McGarrett back on the pillow, when McGarrett aggressively pushed him off.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!", he barked. This startled his partner who took one step back and put his palms up.

"Ok, fine; that's... that's fine! Not, not touch... I'm not touching you..."

McGarrett leaned back down on the pillow, eyes half-closed. "What time is it, Danny?"

"10:17am"

"OH, JEEZ!" The Commander abruptly sat up, then squinted as if in pain. Danny approached him then caught himself, stopping inches from his friend, palms up, as he remembered his "no-touch" boundary. His elbow on his knee, McGarrett rested his forehead upon his open palm. He sighed profoundly.

"Ok, don't fall asleep on me now, ok?" Gauging the situation, Danny went for it. "Come on!" He gently grasped his friend's shoulders and guided him back onto his pillow, which he flipped over and fluffed up, before allowing McGarrett's head to touch down.

"I need to take a cauliflower, cuff my teeth and shave my moustache."

Danno laughed. "Since when do you shave, hmm?"

"I gotta getta... UP! I gotta ggg..." McGarrett put his index finger up and grinned a soft, angelic smile, but he wasn't conscious enough to finish his sentence and didn't protest when Danno stopped him from getting up again and gently pushed him back. "UGH!", he sighed, as he knew he was losing the battle to keep his lids peeled.

"You're in no condition to get up, mister!"

"I g.. I g...gotta... I have bad guys to rope in my lasso..."

"Ok, John Wayne!" Danno smiled. His friend reminded him of a four year old. As he adjusted the covers around Steve's neck, he felt very protective of him.

"Mahalo, Man-no!"

"For what?"

"For not calling me Ts... argh.. ina..."

"Ha, ha, what? What did you say, Steve?"

"ZZzzzz..." Lieutenant Commander Steven McGarrett was flat out cold.

Danno went to his bathroom, wet a washcloth which he wrung out, then wiped his friend's face with it. McGarrett smiled in his sleep. Danno folded the washcloth over lengthwise, then placed it on Steve's forehead. He looked so peaceful and so vulnerable. Daniel dared not leave him alone, lest nightmares overtook his mind and he needed to be helped out of his misery. He watched him sleep like that for some twenty or thirty minutes.

Then, Danno got up, headed for the kitchen, fix himself some breakfast. He paused in the hallway, turned around and walked back to his friend's bedroom. He stood at the threshold, grabbing the door frame with both arms up. He wondered what exactly Steve McGarrett was dreaming of... and whether he'd shared similar dreams as he'd himself had. He winced - for Daniel Williams never blushed - bit the inside of his bottom lip and unconsciously "chewed" on it while contemplating his friend. After all, he knew that the mugwort tea dosage for beginners was a half cup for good reason: he, too, had failed to follow the directive! Remembering a particularly "out there" dream he'd had, Danno blinked repeatedly to cast its memory aside and shook his head at its ridiculous undertones.

He decided Kono and Chin and Officer Pua and Sgt. Lukela, along with Grover, were perfectly capable of holding down the fort today. If crime never slept in Hawai'i, both men were entitled to a day off now and then. Besides, he was only a phone call away.

With that, he marched straight to Steve's kitchen, turned on the radio, flipped the switch to his favorite local 80's station, then opened the fridge and cabinets in search of bowls, cinnamon, eggs, milk, bread and honey: Danno made delicious French toast which he was going to feast upon and, of course, save some for the sleeping SEAL.

The beat came on over roaring applause and Danno's hips started shaking as he broke eggs into a glass bowl, his mouth humming along with the _"ah-ha huh, to do do, la, la, la, la, la"_ while he tossed the shells from above his head down into the garbage can in a perfect "touchdown".

 _"Whahdoo Ah doo the thangs Ah doo? I'd telliou iffah noo..._ _My Gawd, Ah don'iven think dattah loviyioo!"_ Danno was singing along with one of his favorite 80's songs as the sweet smell of buttery cinnamon toast wafted from the frying pan into Steve McGarrett's kitchen. Wood spatula in hand, he unabashedly danced and sang in front of the stove. With eyes half-closed, as knives in the wood block, vertical spoons and spatulas in their holder on the counter, and pots and pans hanging overhead all became his adoring audience, Detective Sergeant Danny Williams gracefully spun around:

 _"WHOO!"_

The End.


End file.
